Tuesday, December 25, 2007

The NewEgg gift card fiasco

newegg.com has finally pissed me off. I've been a customer for at least four years. They have decent prices, and a good "power-search" tool. I've placed many orders, returned partial orders, and in all this time they have never screwed up anything for me... until now.

I need would like to build a new computer. Something with four cores. Mmmm. Christmas was coming up and so I gently grafted this desire into the extended family gift-giving grapevine. Word got out that I wanted a newegg.com gift certificate. "Why not just cash?" Well, I have a habit -not necessarily a bad habit- of hoarding any cash I get. It ends up in a savings account, or goes toward paying off my student loans. Disgusting, I know... but with a gift-certificate I'm pretty much forced to buy something I actually desire.

Grandma was the first to attempt the purchase. She couldn't figure out the website, so she reverted to cold-hard-cash. She's 84, I don't blame her. Thanks Grams.

My father-in-law was next to give it a go. The guy is a scientist, so he had no trouble with the site, and even bought it a few days early to make sure I received it. Sure enough, on Dec 21 I got an email from NewEgg containing the proper redemption credentials. Danke.

The rest of the family procrastinated a bit, and bought them on December 24. That's two brother's-in-law, a sister-in-law, and my own parents. Now, maybe they weren't waiting until the last minute, maybe they just wanted me to receive my gift no earlier than Christmas Eve. Unfortunately I haven't received any yet. I did get an email though:

fromNewegg. com (info@newegg.com)


date
subjectGift Certificate From www.newegg.com
mailed-bynewegg.com

So, there's one certificate- except that the email doesn't have a body. No body, means no Claim code, no Security code, no form letter to tell me where the love came from. So now I have to track down my family members and ask if they tried to send me a gift card from NewEgg- because if they did, I didn't actually get it; and I'm not sure if I ever will...

NewEgg, you've let me down. Did the NewEgg grinch get any of you too? Leave a comment!

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Ode to the cake.


They lined up. Engineers, Testers, Managers and Business Analysts, united in their quest. Some spoke business. Others spoke leisure. All salivated at the bounty of sweet fruits and cake that lay at the front of the queue.

In the eyes of some (most?) of my fellow employees, not all cake is created equal-- and one cake does stand out from the rest. The wheat among the chaff; the diamond in the rough; it is an island of flavor in a sea of lesser sheet cakes. The All-American Chocolate Cake. That sinfully decadent mound of meaty chocolate- layered with yet more chocolate. The darkest, richest, most desirable concoction ever to emerge from the Costco kitchens.

"I must have some..." could practically be seen in cartoon thought-bubbles above those lined-up. And as the last slice of All-American Chocolate Cake departed the level 1 break room, sighs and moans were audible. The heads of those patiently awaiting their morsel of chocolate cake dipped ever-so-slightly at the dismay of missing out. Eager expressions of those tardy to the break room quickly changed to match those in the queue. The platter on-which this glorious cake had arrived, was scraped clean. None of its gooey chocolate goodness would go to waste.

Let us implore The Management, to procure for us a second All-American Chocolate Cake at future birthday gatherings.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Google Hacks


I've never read anything from the O'Reilly Hacks line of books, but I've always wondered if they contain the *really* good hacks. While searching for a link to place in my last post, I was reminded of one of my favorites. I typed 'vista activation' and before even hitting the spacebar, Google had made a few choice suggestions...

I probably could have saved myself some time by using one of these, but I wanted to play by the rules that day.

Unimpressed with Vista

I don't use Vista. Unfortunately one of my clients wanted to try it out, so I built a new machine for him. It worked for 30 days and I got a call from my client- Vista kept telling him he needed to 'Activate' Windows.

I had activated when I installed the OS, but I guess it wanted to do it again- you know, just for fun. So, I told it to activate and it said the key was already in use. Of course it's in use- I already activated! I picked up the phone to call the 888 number since that was my only option.

A chipper female recording answered the phone. "Welcome to the Microsoft Product Activation Center. I can help you activate Windows XP, Windows Server 2003 Small Busin..." yadda ya the list goes on. Sounds like they are feeding me an advertisement for their product that isn't working. Anyway, usually after getting though that it has you enter 8 groups of 6 digits, and then responds with a similarly large number that you enter into your activation window. After entering my digits, the chipper female said "We're sorry, but this key is in use." Of course it's in use- I already activated! "Please wait while your call is transferred to a representative."

Make note- she didn't qualify the term 'representative' with any sort of adjective like 'skilled' or 'competent.' In her thick offshore-outsourced accent the representative asked me to read her all the numbers I had just typed into the phone. She asked if I had recently changed hardware in my computer. "No," I said, "why should that matter?"

It matters because MS doesn't want you moving copies of their OS from machine to machine- even if you did buy it legally. "But it's not their OS, I bought it!" Nope, still theirs, and it's married to your hardware, and cannot divorce and remarry. They want to sell you a new copy for each piece of hardware you own. Of course Miss Representative didn't inform me of this, but did tell me I might have to call back if I change hardware... Then, she read a huge string of digits back to me. Vista accepted them, and allowed me to use the computer I built.

But why did it stop working in the first place? Nothing in the hardware had changed, and after a reboot it claimed I had three days to reactivate Windows. Here we go again.

Chipper Female: "Activating your product will take about 6 minutes, if you have an internet connection and haven't already tried the 'Activate by Internet' option, I suggest you try it- it's much faster."
Me: "..."

Again, I enter the numbers and it forwards me to a rep. He gives me the same spiel and I say "Look, I'm stuck in an endless loop here. I'm not changing hardware, it deactivates Windows on boot!" After a long pause he says I'll have to talk to another team of people who don't work on Saturday.

That's really great Microsoft. It's bad enough that I'm spending my weekend troubleshooting your product, and now you want me to call back on Monday. At least I'm being paid, but my client can't be happy about that.

And so I googled, and found plenty of people with the same problem. Apparently Vista had based its hardware detection on some value reported by the Silicon Image SATA card. That value was changing at every boot! So by updating the driver and re-activating Windows, I was able to get it to remember that it was already activated. At least until I swap out a video card or something...

The moral of the story: Don't even bother with Vista. If Microsoft wants to win back their customer base, they need to grow up and realize that anyone who wants to beat their system will find a way. So just keep it up Microsoft, the more customers you deter with this sort of crap the better. They will all find alternatives- like Mac or Linux.

Cal Marching Band

I played a sax in high school. They wanted me to march around with it; and practice at some insanely early morning hour. Now, back in my teens I wasn't a real "morning person" --and the tenor saxophone is not the most comfortable thing for a scrawny 15-yr-old to haul around a football field... but a video like this might very well have recruited me: